some Lights never die
but have a duty
to burn bright

within our Hearts
as long as we live.

it is the sun's duty to
rise everyday
and without it,
we'd be lost.

some Lights never die
because without them,
we'd be lost.

isatouceesay.com

we've just updated isa's website. there is now more pictures and a little biography i wrote about her. check it out at isatouceesay.com  and props to kalina herr for all her love and efforts.

dandelion wishes

oh baby. i miss you so much. 

i just got some videos from my sister, christina. this one is from when she was 2. i have more recent ones, but my video camera is broken, so i haven't been able to view them. the second the first video opened, and i saw isa, i thought, "it was real. i did have a daughter." 

it's been just over 2 months since isa died and though it feels like an eternity since i got to hold and squeeze my little girl, the pain feels like it happened yesterday. 

my wish is that you were still here with us.

xoxo mama

Thinking of Her...

Thinking of her a lot today. Knowing she is somewhere really wonderful, but still missing her...

Lots of these dandelions have popped up- seemingly overnight on our front lawn.

Dandelions-her favorite flower. Know she'd love to make a wish...

Love you, Isy.

Mourning Dove

Each morning since I've been back in San Diego, I've been running. As I usually wake up thinking of Isa, it's my quiet time in the morning

to reflect on her, my family and my life.

I've been noticing these doves. I remembered there was a pair that lived off the porch at our old house, but each morning I was running I would see just one. And they seemed to be staring at me.

I took this picture with my phone- so the bird seems far away, but she was being so still and looking so closely at me.

During the week after Isa's passing we kept seeing these doves. I learned that they are called "mourning doves" because of their mournful coo. How appropriate.

Sometimes they would appear in a strange place, in the middle of the day, and they would stay and stare at us for a long time. I really felt

they were messengers from Isa.

I looked up some meanings for mourning

dove and here is what I found:

"Several meanings. But the most symbolic, of course, is that it represents Spirit inall indigenous beliefs. Since we communicate and learn through our 5 senses, this is how Spirit can communicate through other creatures and reach us without inducing panic or stress.

When a mourning dove lands on your balcony & looks at you for an extended amount oftime, there is no need to be concerned for your physical wellbeing. You can believe that the message was of peace and love. The assurance that you are one with creation."